If people disagree with me and want to articulate it, that's not only their right but almost their obligation.

There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, "Why am I here? What am I doing?"

That's what social media is, that's what Twitter is, that's what Facebook posts are. It's just really anti-intellectual.

I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.

If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat.

There is nothing interesting about just seeing me doing the show then seeing the fans and how much people love me.

I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women. No? That one, you don't believe it? You believe that I didn't do a series of tests? You are right to not believe it, because I'm going to go ahead and admit that I do not believe what I just said, it was what's described as a 'joke.' Um, I'll be telling a bunch of them here tonight.