You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

Maybe if you live in Brooklyn, you don't need to hear that? But please, trust me, in most of America, they do need to hear it. And they're quite thankful that somebody came out and did it. For an hour and a half in that theater, for once, they're in the majority.

It's just an easy catchall to describe a style because there are a lot of alternative comics who are completely different from each other.

I recently attended a pro-drug rally... in my basement.

I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.

What happened to our friendship? I really think it's our obligation as friends to be brutally honest and be frank with them and say, 'Look, I'm sorry, but your baby is fking boring.'

It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.