Maybe if you live in Brooklyn, you don't need to hear that? But please, trust me, in most of America, they do need to hear it. And they're quite thankful that somebody came out and did it. For an hour and a half in that theater, for once, they're in the majority.

[If Donald Trump does get elected, I will be] probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I don't know. I'll probably end up working in the cafeteria.

I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.

You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.

I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.

Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.

We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.