You can't just yell jokes at people.

Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed."

Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

It's easy to see that two people might come up with that same idea.

I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.

I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.