I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright.

I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.

If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat.

James Lipton: The most pompous arrogant failure in history.

I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like "An Evening Of Political Comedy."