It's easy to see that two people might come up with that same idea.

Then I will tape the sets and even though I`m not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.

I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.

Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.

[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave Attell's." Also, Antwerp was my smallest audience, so the guy was right there. I was like, "What?" He said, "Dave Attell does a bit about, 'Why are there luggage stores in the airport?'" I had never seen that, and I would never ever, ever, ever - please believe me - I would never lift material from somebody ever, and certainly not knowingly.