The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

Being a rock star is being a rock star, I don't need to go into the details. What would you do if you were a rock star?

You gotta learn the alphabet, backwards and forwards. And then the choice is yours, 'cause last I looked, the Bible is written in the same words, the exact same alphabet, as my favorite pornography. Choice is yours.

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.

The Breakfast of Champions isn't cereal, it's the competition!

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!