The Breakfast of Champions isn't cereal, it's the competition!

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

On parties it's not about who you are. The real reason to which a party revolves is how good you look.

Nobody's going to get a hot dog at my concert!

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

Being a rock star is being a rock star, I don't need to go into the details. What would you do if you were a rock star?

You gotta learn the alphabet, backwards and forwards. And then the choice is yours, 'cause last I looked, the Bible is written in the same words, the exact same alphabet, as my favorite pornography. Choice is yours.