What's missing is the testosterone. What's missing is the fury. What's missing is the passionate convicted commitment. And I got a lot of mine from my religious background. So y'all best stop imagining the way Dr. Zorba looked, or some defenseless Hasidic Jew with a little yarmulke on his head, 'cause that ain't here for you.

My visions and fantasies are pretty standard. The only difference is I got to do it, while most of us haven't. Beyond that, I'm a pretty standard guy. Give me a gal with a sense of humor, acidic wit, who's read a few books and has a body like a Swedish speed skater, and I'm quite content.

Self-tragedy is always a great way to dramatize yourself - ask any teenager.

Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade.

On parties it's not about who you are. The real reason to which a party revolves is how good you look.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

Stick your head above the crowd and eventually somebody will throw a rock at it.