As you watch the Gary Condit interview, three words come to mind: stiff, unbending and impenetrable. And that's just his hair.

Because Utah is largely Mormon country, the firing squad's a little different. You're blindfolded but no cigarette.

Some Secret Service guys crashed a car into the White House. And they had been drinking when it happened. Actually, they hit a barrier trying to get to the White House. It's the same thing that is happening to Hillary.

The latest polls show that Arnold Schwarzenegger is trailing Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante in the polls. That's insane. I mean, think about it, this guy Cruz Bustamante has never even been in a movie.

North Korean dictator Kim Jung Il may be stepping down. Yeah, experts in the State Department say he could be replaced by his son, Menta Li Ill.

The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?

Let's have some wine, go upstairs, and look at my money.