The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.'

It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

John Boehner - doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money.

Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is now governor of California. He is a very shrewd man - he already has all of his sex scandals behind him.