Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.

The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.

Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license.

The new CIA torture report is 6 million pages long. It's almost as long as a George Clooney pre-nup.

Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.