The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?

Moammar Gadhafi was found hiding in a storm sewer with a gold-plated gun. That's me in retirement, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.

Hillary Clinton is driving across Iowa in a van. It's to get to know the people she'll never, ever see again in her life.