President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.

Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China and said, 'We need one of these things around the White House.'

Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg.

This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.