It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

The Russian economy is tanking. It's gotten so bad that today Vladimir Putin had to pawn his stolen Super Bowl ring. And Putin will finance his next invasion on Kickstarter.

I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.

Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?

George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.

Did you hear this? They say now Osama bin Laden and his buddy Mullah Omar have left Afghanistan dressed as women. They dressed up as women and went across the border into Pakistan. I think they're going to make a movie about it. They're going to call it 'Some like it Jihad.'

Bush explained his strategy for transfer of power. It's a two part plan. Part one: clean out his desk. Part two: rent a U-Haul.