It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.

Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

As you watch the Gary Condit interview, three words come to mind: stiff, unbending and impenetrable. And that's just his hair.