You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.

Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

I'm still here. I knocked off another competitor.

I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

Sunday is the Academy Awards. Every time an actor says, 'I didn't expect this,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg will do a shot.

Tim Tebow has been on the bench longer than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?