USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them.

We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves.

Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.

Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.

In just a few minutes, my son will have completed his first trip around the sun.