USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

The new 'Mad Max' movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic world. I have a small part in 'Mad Max.' I play the old geezer who remembers what steak tasted like.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.

How about that oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico. And you know, the oil slick is going everywhere. So the next time somebody lands on the Hudson, it won't be that big a deal.

The campaign for the White House is heating up with John Kerry taking heat for throwing his Vietnam medals away, getting a $1000 haircut, and wearing a 1970s wig known as 'the Leno.' There are really two sides to this story. And America can't wait for Kerry to present both of them.

Donald Trump had a university. Well, the state attorney general decided that the Donald Trump University was an unlicensed sham. And I thought, you know you're at a bad university when your commencement speaker is Whitey Bulger.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.