Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down.There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they're going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they're going to look into this North Korean thing.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, virtually going door to door to every home in Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses finally got fed up and said, 'Get lost. Get out of here!'

Here in New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.