Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.

You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.

It's tax season. When I woke this morning and realized it was tax season, I said, My God, didn't we just pay taxes last year?

They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?

I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.

There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.