Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before

This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.

They found a cave once lived in by Osama bin Laden and the only thing in the cave were some boxer undershorts, and macaroni. I'm telling you, you add an old stack of Playboys, this could be my place. It's like I have a twin.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid says he will not seek re-election. Harry said he wants to spend more time with his family. As I always say, check with your family.

The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.

You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.