Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before

You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.

Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard - cut back on the Red Bull.

Today Mitt Romney is 68 years old. It's kind of sad, a 68-year-old guy with no job, no future - wait a minute, that's me.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.

Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.'