I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.

I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?

Back when we started this show, the hottest program on television was 'Keeping Up With the Gabors.'

Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.

Mitt Romney has a fund-raiser. He's going to get in the ring and fight Evander Holyfield. This is the dumbest thing Republicans have done since they wrote that open letter to Iran.

Al Gore has endorsed Howard Dean for president. That's pretty fitting, the guy that didn't beat Bush endorsing the guy who won't beat Bush.