Have you been following the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Or as we call it now, the Dead Sea.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay has apparently just slipped across the border into Pakistan.

Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.

Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.

Well, the manhunt continues for that elusive evil mastermind, but I'm telling you Enron CEO Kenneth Lay remains at large.

President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here.

Hillary Clinton is now in Iowa. She's spending every waking minute of her day meeting ordinary people, and it's to prepare her for a job in which she will never again meet an ordinary person.