President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.

George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.

I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

To label Jason Randal a magician does a disservice. You'll think the laws of physics, nature, the universe itself have been suspended. He's as good as Houdini was at his best!

Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.