All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
David LettermanDonald Trump had a university. Well, the state attorney general decided that the Donald Trump University was an unlicensed sham. And I thought, you know you're at a bad university when your commencement speaker is Whitey Bulger.
David LettermanThey found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes.
David Letterman