They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.

Kim Jong Un's sister got married. That sounds like another Seth Rogen movie, doesn't it?

There is no off position on the genius switch.

Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down.There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they're going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they're going to look into this North Korean thing.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

Remember evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin? He vanished for 10 days. He had disappeared and there were a lot of rumors. One rumor was he had disappeared because he had himself executed.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.