I don't mind being accused of being a bad comedian and I don't even mind being accused of being a bad talk-show host, but I never want to be accused of being an arrogant, pompous showbiz asshole.
David LettermanStocks are at an all-time high today. I don't have any money in the stock market. I don't have the stomach for the ups and downs. So about 20 years ago I put all of my money and liquid assets into videotape rewind machines.
David LettermanArnold Schwarzenegger is now governor of California. He is a very shrewd man - he already has all of his sex scandals behind him.
David Letterman