Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.

Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.

Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.

Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.

There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.

I know you're on the Atkins diet, but could you stop eating bacon during sex?

Mayor de Blasio has legalized ferrets. Now you can legally own ferrets in New York City. I want to tell you something. If I want to see anymore beady-eyed little weasels, I'll just keep riding the subway.