Kim Jong Un's sister got married. That sounds like another Seth Rogen movie, doesn't it?

I just heard George W. Bush's new plan for airline security. From here on out, every plane will now have its own hockey dad.

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

God forbid I should be the last one to criticize, but I think may be Howard Dean has a bit of a problem because earlier today during a debate in New Hampshire, he bit off Joe Lieberman's ear.

Quiet down, we don't want to wake the Russians.

Any online gamblers here? Well, Congress is looking in shutting that down.There's going to be a massive congressional investigation of online gambling and they're going to shut it down. And when they get done with that, they're going to look into this North Korean thing.

Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel.