Monday is President's Day and former President Bill Clinton is very excited. He is taking George Bush, Sr. to 'Hooters'. ... George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton have been spending more and more time together. Doesn't that seem like an unusual couple to you, honestly? Earlier today they went to go see that gay cowboy movie.

The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag

This will be Michelle Obama's last opportunity to try to get me to eat kale.

The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?

Recently a guy was having trouble with his computer. So he unplugs it, takes it out in the alley, pulls out a gun, and shoots it eight times. Coincidentally, that's how Hillary got rid of her emails.

Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over. ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'

They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.