Do you know what I'm going to do when I retire? I hope to become the new face of Scientology.

Former President Bush, to celebrate his 80th birthday, jumped out of an airplane. And if you've seen the polls, you know he's not the only Bush in freefall.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.

I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.