Newt Gingrich had a horrible week in the Iowa caucuses. Only 13 percent of his ex-wives voted for him.

I always liked Mitt Romney. He looks like the salesman who follows you around at Brooks Brothers.

Hillary is in Iowa to listen to what the people are saying - because if you want her to speak, that will cost you $200,000. So she's there listening.

Those North Korean hackers are at it again. Earlier today they leaked Santa's naughty list.

President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation.

I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.

The CIA special unit that was searching for Osama bin Laden has been disbanded. So I guess, mission accomplished.