John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well; he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

It looks like President Bush will be handing over power to the Iraqis by June 30th. That's amazing and not only that, but it looks like he'll be handing over power to the Democrats by November 2nd.

They're saying President Obama doesn't have any friends. The problem is that he can't get Congress to approve one.

Donald Trump had a university. Well, the state attorney general decided that the Donald Trump University was an unlicensed sham. And I thought, you know you're at a bad university when your commencement speaker is Whitey Bulger.

How many people saw Arnold's speech last night? I haven't seen that many Kennedys in one place since their last trial.

Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.