Arnold is now the front runner. Everyone was snickering about it a month ago, now it looks like he will be the next governor of California. He is so confident he has already chosen a body oil for the inauguration.

Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before

We are starting to learn more about Osama bin Laden. For his birthday one year, somebody gave him a $4 Timex. We know that. He is married to the daughter of a guy named Mullah Muhammed Omar. I think her name is Tiffany Omar. Insiders say that the marriage is not working out. Apparently they are living in separate caves.

The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?

Political pundits are saying President George W. Bush has made gains in two key states: dazed and confused.

Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.

Do you remember the good ol' days when Congress was only unsafe if you were an intern.