Due to budget crunches, Bush has had to scale some of the programs. He has a new program, 'Leave A Couple of Kids Behind.'

Bill Clinton has a brand new book coming out in a few months and the Democrats are worried that the Clinton book might upstage the Kerry campaign. I'm thinking, hell, day-old meat loaf could upstage that campaign.

Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.

I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.

It is cold down in Washington, DC. They had to use an ice scraper on John Boehner's face to get the tears off, it was so cold.

Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.

The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.