Don't worry about me. I plan to continue to be in show business. I have already been booked to be in a production of 'The Sunshine Boys' with Jay Leno.

Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over. ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'

Herman Cain said, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he'll throw in a free 32-ounce soda.

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.

How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.

John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well; he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts.

Congratulations to Bill and Hillary Clinton: this weekend, 33rd wedding anniversary. How about that? And you thought the Iraqi war was a never-ending conflict.