Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.

Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.

President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. He said, 'Don't worry, we should not be there any longer than a Kardashian marriage.'

Do good things for other people.

The new CIA torture report is 6 million pages long. It's almost as long as a George Clooney pre-nup.

You can email me, but I prefer letters that come through conventional mail. I like letters that have been licked by strangers.

Love: You can't start it like a car, you can't stop it with a gun.