There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
David LettermanToday would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.
David LettermanYesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.
David LettermanIt was a tough press conference for President Bush. He spent the first ten minutes trying to pronounce Fallujah. ... Bush insisted that Iraq is not Vietnam. Of course not, he avoided Vietnam.
David Letterman