The ayatollah in Iran says he believes that he got the letter, but he thinks he accidentally threw it out with his Crate & Barrel catalog.

You know who's also joining the Wall Street protesters? Kanye West. That's a real good idea -- a guy with diamonds in his teeth protesting greed.

The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.

This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, 'May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

Don't worry about me. I plan to continue to be in show business. I have already been booked to be in a production of 'The Sunshine Boys' with Jay Leno.

It's two days until tax time. I know it's late, but there is still time to deduct this show as a loss.

You've got to be careful smoking weed. It causes memory loss. And also, it causes memory loss.