Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis.

Hillary has now erased all of her emails, and she also had all of her pantsuits dry cleaned.

Today coming to work, I saw one of those only in New York scenes. It was a rat who had passed out after choking on a pretzel.

The mayor of Sochi is now saying that there are no gay people in Sochi. So the only thing that is flaming over there now is the Olympic torch.

Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know.

Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn't that odd?