There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

As you watch the Gary Condit interview, three words come to mind: stiff, unbending and impenetrable. And that's just his hair.

The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years.

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.

John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can't name the foreign leaders. That's all right, President Bush can't name them either.

Guess who's running for president? Jeb Bush. Jeb was governor of Florida and he speaks fluent Spanish, which raises the question: What language did his brother speak? What was that?