Reasons why members of Congress deserve a pay raise: Many big corporations are cutting back on bribes; nearly half the members have never been indicted.

You like science? You enjoy science? Always use it for good, never for evil. Can you promise me that?

There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.

Mitt Romney is not going to be running for president. So you know what that means. We are getting closer and closer to 'President Trump.'

Keep in mind that your individual vote doesn't mean anything.

Incredible experience, watching a baby birth on the internet. It's now my screensaver.

I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.