America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
David LettermanHillary Clinton could use one of these Apple Watches. She could hook it up to her secret email account. If you want to contact Hillary, she's at hillary@pantsuit.com.
David LettermanToday is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.
David LettermanThose North Korean hackers are at it again. Earlier today they leaked Santa's naughty list.
David Letterman