Going to war was the only unselfish thing I have ever done for humanity.

Many of our feelings of satisfaction or dissatisfaction have their roots in how we compare ourselves to others. When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we feel bad. When we compare ourselves to those who have less, we feel grateful. Even though the truth is we have exactly the same life either way, our feelings about our life can vary tremendously based on who we compare ourselves with. Compare yourself with those examples that are meaningful but that make you feel comfortable with who you are and what you have.

Actors don’t retire. They just get offered fewer roles.

I enjoy reality as much as the next man. It's just that in my case, fortunately, reality includes a good stiff belt every now and then.

Tomorrow, Trubshawe, I am going to get married again, thereby quite possibly making the greatest mistake of my life.

Stardom is like making love in a hammock - a happy experience but one of uncertain duration.

Watching too much TV can triple our hunger for more possessions, while reducing our personal contentment by about 5 percent for every hour a day we watch.