Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and never understand that struggle is useless - that's what hell must be like.

To spend your days in the company of naked men - that was the life for me. 'Turn a bit to the left, Jean-Claude. I long to capture the playful quality of your buttocks.

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.

Sometimes you read something and it's just -- it doesn't invite a reader....Sometimes you read something and it's not saying, 'oh come in, come in have a seat. I'm going to tell you what happened.' Perhaps my writing comes off as conversational...and that takes effort.

I've wasted a lot of time pretending to be interested in people who weren't terribly interesting.

The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.