The problem a guy who lies all the time faces is he never can tell when anybody else is telling the truth.

I reserve the right to change my mind. But once I decide on something, I'm going to need a good reason to switch.

Anytime you go upside a man's head - or a woman - then they have a tendency to blink they eyes. Or close they eyes.

The only rules not meant to be broken are those of love and virtue.

I was the originator of smack. Some guys rattle with smack; with other guys it rolls right off their shoulders like nothing.

Know the difference between famous and great.

How can you possibly be sympathetic to every fool on the planet? Just the other day, I heard a man whining about his hopeless love of cross-dressing. Call me unenlightened, but I started to laugh.