The Pavlovian view of women voters - plug the words in, and they will respond - sends a chill down my spine because it sounds like an adaptation of something I have written about communication between the sexes: When a woman tells a man about a problem, she doesn't want him to fix it; she just wants him to listen and let her know he understands. But there's a difference between a private conversation and a presidential election, between what we want from our leaders.

To say that a person feels listened to means a lot more than just their ideas get heard. It's a sign of respect. It makes people feel valued.

[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they're so busy trying to win the debate.

In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs the punches of all the others that have gone before.

We tend to look through language and not realize how much power language has

Part of the reason images of women in positions of authority are marked by their gender is that the very notion of authority is associated with maleness.

All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.