We all know we are unique individuals, but we tend to see others as representatives of groups.

Life is a matter of dealing with other people, in little matters and cataclysmic ones, and that means a series of conversations.

It's our tendency to approach every problem as if it were a fight between two sides. We see it in headlines that are always using metaphors for war. It's a general atmosphere of animosity and contention that has taken over our public discourse.

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone.

For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence

[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they're so busy trying to win the debate.