Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

Kids are incredibly expensive. But it pays off later when they are better educated, bigger, and better-looking than you. And find you incessantly boring and uncool.

If you do good work, it tends to stick around. People still come up to me and say, "'The Ref' is my favorite Christmas movie."

My father could swear in Gaelic and English, by the way, ladies and gentlemen.

Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning.

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.

I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.