You just can't win. Men have very recent land mines in their heads. Women have recorded conversations and photographs in their heads from 15 years ago.

I actually like talking.

Bill Murray doesn't do anything. He barely shows up at the movies he says he's going to do.

It became sort of a snowball effect, with guys trying to deal in their own way with 9/11, whether it was drinking or whatever.

Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad