Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning.

Elvis and I call up Cadillac dealerships all night long, suckin' down Ny Quil stingers and cheese. He says, what the hell's Lisa Marie thinking with that Michael Jackson crap?

I went to see the 'Spider-Man' movies because my wife is a fan, and so are my kids.

You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.

Campbell [Scott] also directed me in a film with Hope Davis called Final. That was the first thing we did together, but I've known him for years.

Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?

I always hated the Grateful Dead. Never even bought a Led Zeppelin album.