Marriage is like a dull meal with the dessert at the beginning.

You try to - you want to fly on both sides of the political fence because that's where the - where the comedy is.

I needed someone really intense, but also somebody with a lot of theatrical credibility.

Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it.

I can't text. My fingers are too big.

I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?

I obviously identify with the anti-authority figure. I've pretty much always had problems with authority, ever since I was a kid.